Today we’d like to introduce you to Cicely Tanisha Santa.
Hi Cicely Tanisha, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My journey has taken many twists and turns. If I were to describe it, I would compare it to a river that began as a small puddle in Brooklyn, New York, on Friday, June 11, 1971. With the weight of childhood sexual trauma at the tender age of three, that puddle pushed its way through dry, rocky ground until it found a nearby brook. Over time, that brook became inundated with bullying, additional trauma, loss, homelessness, and a moment of deep reflection at age fifteen.
That moment was the introduction of Christ into my life. This encounter didn’t erase the pain, but it transformed the direction of my river. The brook swelled into a lake, and from that lake emerged several streams that carried me into new seasons.
One of the most beautiful streams was my first love: becoming a mother to one of the most intelligent, compassionate, giving, and curious human beings I know — my son, Devin Akail Jones. Now twenty‑six, Devin challenged me, stretched me, and taught me to see and experience life through a different lens.
In 2004, I married a supportive, giving, and loyal man whom Devin lovingly called “Daddy.” Although that relationship has now run its course, it ultimately guided my streams back into one powerful river — the river that is my current project: Becoming Better, Not Bitter: My Journey of Divorce and Triumph.
This next author project has awakened gifts within me that only God knew were there. It has also opened my heart to help other women who are navigating or emerging from their own divorce journeys — women who now stand on the precipice between their past and their future.
Growth can be painful, confusing, heartbreaking, and victorious. My mission is to guide, encourage, inspire, and challenge women not to become the bitter, angry, vindictive version of themselves that divorce can tempt them to be. Instead, I want to help them take accountability for their actions or inactions, look themselves in the mirror, and accept the truth: It is over. I cannot go back. I am — or soon will be — single. Now which way do I go?
Do I follow my former spouse’s life on social media, wishing or causing ill will?
Or do I choose better?
Do I choose, one day at a time, to become the woman God has called me to be and focus on fulfilling the purpose He placed on my life?
The ball is in your court now, my sister.
Have I left out parts of my story? Absolutely — more than you can imagine. But right now, I am choosing to focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time. And that is why Book Butler Publishing Company is here: to help me tell my stories — or as I prefer to call them, my testimonies. From Stage 4 endometriosis to losing my mother to Lewy Body Dementia at the young age of 72 after more than twenty years of suffering, my life has been a tapestry of trials and triumphs.
My daily prayer remains the same:
“Lord, please allow me the opportunity to encourage and be a blessing to someone today.”
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
It has not. I shared only a few pieces of my story earlier, but there is more — much more. Because of my endometriosis, my then‑husband and I endured two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy that caused me to lose all of my hair. At the time, I was attending a two‑year discipleship class at my church. Instead of allowing the grief to consume me or strip away more than my hair, I turned that season into an opportunity to encourage others. I called that writing “My Job Experience,” inspired by the book of Job — the man God allowed Satan to test, with only one restriction: he could not take Job’s life.
That season deeply affected my marriage in ways that contributed to its eventual end. Pain has a way of revealing cracks we didn’t know were there.
The loss of my mother was another profound chapter. We never had the idealized mother‑daughter relationship you see in movies. I believe it was because we were so much alike. My mother often reminded me that she prayed for “a strong, independent girl.” God answered her prayer — but she forgot she would also have to raise her. I was independent, mature beyond my years, opinionated, and deeply in need of affection. That last part was the hardest, because my mother was not naturally affectionate.
But as I grew older, I began to see her clearly — not as the mother I wished she had been, but as the woman I would one day grow into: strong, hardworking, giving, and compassionate. I miss her every single day.
Although dementia took her body, it never took her spirit or her heart for serving God’s people. After a mental health crisis led her to a psychiatric hospital, she accepted Christ — a turning point after spending nearly twenty‑five years practicing Buddhism. I thank God daily for the time He allowed me to have with her until her passing in 2022.
I miss you, Ms. Maxine.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am an author currently promoting my first children’s book “A Letter From Grandma.” This work was inspired by the loss of my grandmother. I share with the audience my relationship with my grandmother as a child and the importance of the bond between a grandchild and grandparent.
In addition to that, I am an ordained Praise and Worship Dance Ministry leader through Dancing For Him Ministries and Pastor Lynn Hayden, I teach as well as perform mime, expressive dance with the inclusion of flags, streamers, flags, tambourines etc.
Lastly, I am now a proud “Nana” of 2 gorgeous granddaughters ( I am in no way biased) and living in my element. Although still young, they have taught me an elevated level of resilience, love for another human, and how to put my background of singing and dancing into practice. I am loving every moment of it.
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
I suggest the following:
1. Vet-Vet-Vet- not everyone that calls themselves a mentor or coach deserves the privilege of guiding your or Your journey. It’s okay to be selective but also don’t run away from someone that will hold your accountable.
2. Seek out feedback from prior/current clients.
3. Seek someone who has life experience in the areas you are interested in growing in because a certificate or course can’t always teach people how to genuinely connect with others.
4. Research prices for program/services you can afford as this is an investment as well as a commitment of your time and that coach’s time.
5. Be clear on what your goal is in acquiring a mentor to prevent being taken advantage of
Pricing:
- $125- a 1:1 session with just you and I to assess your beginning point and coaching goal(s)
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.becomingbetter1.com
- Instagram: @bbodaat
- Facebook: @bbodaat
- LinkedIn: @bbodaat
