Today we’d like to introduce you to Miran Dalley.
Hi Miran, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
After college, I got into real estate, where I stayed for 17 years. I had met married a man with 2 kids from his previous marriage. Having grown up with divorced parents who were remarried, I knew it came with some challenges, but I had no idea how much on the parent side of a blended family. I went into therapy, began to get my nervous system more at ease, which at the time was a wreck. I got into mindfulness, medication holistic healing modalities which I found made such a big difference in a world of raising 2 children in a blended family situation. I saw that each part of this blended family, blended into each other with such cause and effect and the kids who were getting older navigating it all. At 39 years old we moved to another state to be closer to them and their busy schedules, I suddenly sold an investment house and ended up living 15 mins from a brand new Masters of Counseling program, so at almost 40, I took the leap of faith and went back to school.
I thrived and soaked in all of the information. When I graduated at 42 and became a therapist, I couldn’t believe that I was actually doing it. I also really began to understand what was my side of the street in all of the dynamics and what was mine. 2 years later, I decided to get divorced and start my life over again. New town, new career and newly single. I gave myself a year to heal, before entering the dating world.
When I did, I saw and heard millions of women express that they couldn’t trust men, were always looking out for cheaters, narcissists and instead of connecting, they were keeping themselves from the connection they wanted so badly. They were so afraid of more pain, that they were avoiding vulnerability all together, and when they did it was because they were trying to fill a void from the external, creating more pain and heartbreak. I realized it shouldn’t take a masters degree in counseling to know all the things about the nervous system, how our body responds to past hurt and why we are actually not connecting when we are trying to protect ourselves. After 6 months on the dating apps, and some interesting experiences, I found a long term partner. One who aligned with me, loved me, respected me and wanted to work with me.
I was then on a mission to help other women begin to trust themselves, lay down the swords and just be present. We learned, integrated the pain and changed it to empowerment so they could know the difference between their intuition and their anxiety while in the dating world.
As I developed an intentionally healthy new relationship, I realized how many relationships get lost with all the minor infractions, the miscommunications, the translation problems that become bigger and bigger until the trust and good will is broken between people to just wanted their best friend again. So I got very intentionally trained with the best couples gurus in the field and began to build a practice based on the populations, partnerships, daters ect that no one truly saw.
Being ADHD comes with some amazing qualities that I have learned to love in myself, and qualities that I have learned to become intentional about, in order to build a healthy and solid foundation of a relationship. I wanted to help others in neurodivergent relationships so they could understand each other in a much deeper way, to create the trust and connection they wanted. But these things are not as easy as normal couples dynamics so they take someone who understands and can help navigate it.
I then began to get partners who were polyamorous or ENM and saw their fear of judgments as they began to talk about their preferences, their lifestyles, their experiences, their desires I knew I wanted them too to have that safe place. To be seen, to be heard, to never be judged. So I began to get every training I could on the topic to make sure I never harmed or unintendedly steered them in the wrong direction. I found in every romantic relationship the nervous system and body will tell us how we really feel. I help everyone to learn to translate it, empower it and be intentional about the life and partnerships they want to lead.
The moment I love most about this work, is being able to translate for someone about their own internal experiences or for their partner, validate through education on the nervous system and help them empower themselves so they no longer feel victim to heartbreak and pain.
Because we are in a loneliness epidemic now, I believe in building community. The more you feel supported, and validated, the more your heart can heal and the more courage one has to communicate, express, expand boundaries and live their best life. That is why I create in person workshops, budget friendly on demand courses and session costs that won’t keep someone from being a part of the tribe due to costs, but motivation and desire to get there.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
The road to get here has not been easy, but I believe nothing worth it comes easily to us. Its in the challenges that we learn what we are made of, what our internal resilience’s and strengths are and what we are truly made of. I’ve learned the difference between being stubborn and fighting for loyalty and because of time spent and continuing the mission because my intuition knows I’m going somewhere worth it.
There were many lessons to learn as the economy, world and financial markets are in chaos. People need the help more than ever but cannot afford what they need. People are paying more for insurance, with getting less coverage. So they cannot always afford their deductibles or copays for the regular sessions, sessions amount get stalled due to financial constraints. On the backend, the insurance companies pay a nominal amount for services that therapist must take on my clients then they should, creating burn out, and we cannot afford to pay clinicians under private practice what they are worth. Since the insurance company pays the same amount for everyone in the proactive, it’s nearly impossible to give clinicians pay raises based on loyalty, more education, more time and experience so many don’t stay in the private practice world, but work at agencies where they get salary or under a venture capitalist company, that is also owned by the insurance companies where they can make a decent hourly wage, but there is no gatekeeping to the quality of therapy. We often hear stories of therapists under these venture capitalists’ companies that are behaving in ways that are unethical or boundary crossing, creating more harm and damage to clients.
Private practice owners are losing clients, clinicians and they are scrambling to figure out a way to add to their income, add to their niche’s, get the self pay clients ect to help elevate this stress. Many successful private practices have become aligned with these venture capitalists in order to fill their caseloads, which equates to these companies having the information, the control and the marketing of these clients in a way the therapists can no longer control.
Hence why I have created a practice to help people within different budgets, needs and goals.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
We specialize in people who want to feel safe in connection again, We help daters to become more connected to their patterns, and become more empowered and intentional in the dating world, we help partnerships that want to feel safe and connected again, or couples who are not sure if they want to stay together or begin a transition of moving apart. What makes us different, is that we are very highly trained therapists, who have been through the process ourselves. Our family specialist spent 7 years as a school counselor and helped many children and their parents navigate the school systems, accommodations, helping parents with their child’s diagnosis and executive functioning. We help connections from the single person to dating, to long term relationships, to the parent who is overwhelmed, exhausted and believes they are failing their child because they can’t be that patient, understanding and nurturing parent all of the time as these kids need these days, relationships are falling apart because children need so much and parents are not keeping their connections. We help bring down the heat in the family, get it working again in a better, systematic way.
Risk taking is a topic that people have widely differing views on – we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Being a small business owner, is a constant risk taking adventure. When you hire and train people you are gambling if they will become what you need, what your brand presence is, that the training will make them better and they will fly from there to fully represent the company as an extension of you, the owner. I’ve had some employees that have done this and some that have not. For many they did for a time and for various reasons became too over encumbered to continue to be what I needed. The trick is to balance the time spent on training, with the expected output and learning while always being aware so when this begins to change there isn’t too much damage in the process. Every time, I’m gaining knowledge, experience, expanding my leadership or getting better systems in place from these lessons.
I take risks in every product and creation I work on. Some have taken money, time and resources with little or no return and others have been helpful, built momentum and created a reputation for us and the work. Most of the time, the results are surprising, either people resonate with something you are unsure of and are not interested in the things you think would be most helpful. But you keep listening to the client and working toward creating answers and access for what they are experiencing.
I’m lucky to have build a network of people I trust, most of them are also in the business with whom we share ideas, frustrations, experiences, what works and what doesn’t with each other. While we all often focus on different things, you have someone that gets it and can offer new perspectives or tools so we are not in this alone.
Pricing:
- Special Topic Courses: $97
- Couples Counseling &. Coaching: $185
- Individual Therapy: insurance based; $144
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.HealingHeartsLove.com
- Instagram: @healingheartswellnesscenter
- Facebook: HealingHeartsWellnessCenter
- Youtube: HealingHeartsLove
- Other: https://healingheartswellness.substack.com/
